The Angry Rebel: Be a Better Communicator Instantly

By Zachary Swartz

As a member of the media it is my job to convey information and thoughts that can easily be digested and understood. While trying to get better at this skill I have paid attention to other forms of communication and the dramatic failures that occur. This is a problem that plagues many parts of our lives. There is no part of our life that doesn’t hinge on communication, but over the last few months I have realized how bad we has humans are at communicating and getting the answers we want. Yes we can send a million text messages back and fourth, but too often nothing of substance in conveyed and we are left to our own minds to figure out what the other person is saying. 

I understand that each relationship is different, including platonic, business and romantic. Each has its own twists, turns and challenges, but as a whole every relationship has the same basic set of problems, especially towards the beginning when we are figuring out the other side. We send convoluted messages and double signals constantly, most of the time without even realizing it. I understand the need for these missteps. It is all about feeling out the other person before putting yourself out there, respectable enough. But at one point the communication channels need to honestly open up. Recently I have seen multiple relationships fail for just this reason, but outside of being sheepish and bullheaded there is no reason for it. 

Being a good communicator is one of the hardest things to do in life, but if you can master it the sheer amount of needed speculation will dramatically falloff. If you simply ask the question that you want answered, and pursue an actual answer, you do not need to speculate what they, the other person, mean. One of the stranger things we do is leave a grey area that prevents clear communication from taking place. I do know that being ambiguous is important with some communication, but if it prevents you from getting what you want why do it? If you clearly know what you want, you can simply just ask for it. This does not mean that you can’t jazz up how you are asking it or time when exactly you ask it, both of these are essential in both conveying emotion and not coming off like a complete robot/psychopath, but it does mean asking the exact question you want answered. The risk is easily worth the reward. (The reward is normally the answer you wanted or the time you saved by getting the answer you didn’t immediately. This is especially important in romantic relationships.) 

Is becoming a good communicator hard? Yes and no. One of the biggest reasons we speak in vague terms is because we do not like getting hurt or at least getting the answer we don’t want. If you can simply see the greater good in this than being a good communicator is easy, but if you can’t, than being a good communicator will always be a struggle. 

I will admit that personally I have fallen pray to being vague and have been known to beat around the proverbial bush. My logic at the time was that I would rather live in ignorance than get the answer I don’t want to hear. The phrase, “ignorance is bliss,” should come to mind. The truth however is that as great as ignorance appears to be, nothing is better than knowing the answer. That way you can make an educated judgment on what to do. When we do not have that information we speculate and make assumptions. These assumptions are based on conclusions that we ourselves have created. (see: Wrong!) Think back to the last time you scripted out exactly what you were going to say to someone. Only to have them respond differently to the very first thing you said. Your planned speech has now been rendered useless. This is what assumptions do best. 

As I have mentioned in previous articles I am not here just to point out something that is infuriating or frustrating, I am also here to throw out some solutions. If there is currently someone in your life that you want to tell something to, but are waiting for the right time or situation, you should simply just do it. Yes I understand the timing might not be the best, but the truth is if you wait for the timing to be perfect you will live your life waiting on the sidelines. Perfect timing can happen, but the odds of your mind’s perfect timing and what actually is perfect timing will never align, after all this isn’t a movie. This may seem too simple and I know for a fact you have heard this before, but too often we hear these clichés and simply ignore them. I mean they are clichés that is what we are supposed to do. But how about for once you just try it, just give it a shot, and if you think you “know” what will happen, than you clearly have not been listening. 

Oh, and a quick reminder, part of being a good communicator is also explaining yourself as well. You can’t expect other people to be clear unless you are clear with them. This has been your Angry Rebel telling you to make the world a better place by simply just being a better communicator.