The Dating Guru: Are you Ready to Love Intentionally?

aeshaBy A’Esha Goins, Dating Guru

Informer Media Group

Here’s an ongoing conversation I have with a few of my clients; I love her/him but I don’t trust them. I want to trust him/her but they hurt me. I don’t want to leave them because I love him/her but I don’t trust them.

Trust is a choice and if you choose to not forgive them, that’s your choice. However if you decide to stay you are doing yourself an injustice by not forgiving them. Forgiveness isn’t about other people, it is about you.  Allow yourself the opportunity to be free of other’s mistakes.  Love yourself enough to love someone else the way you would want to be loved.

Trust is earned and you have the right to want people to earn your trust. You do not have the right to hold them hostage to their mistakes. If you choose to continue in the relationship you must understand that your ego and pride has no place or value in the relationship. You WILL look like a fool, you WILL do something stupid and if you are lucky, you WILL get your feelings hurt.  Being hurt for love shows you are willing to risk and or sacrifice yourself for it. There is life after love if you choose love and do not haphazardly fall in love.

Love is an unselfish emotion and it will require you to take a risk and be vulnerable. With risk comes trust. Do not be ashamed of your choice to love. Instead, be confident in your ability to live outside of fear. Yes, love is a faith walk and it can be scary. Many people miss the opportunity of relationship because their imagination of what “could happen” outweighs their courage to leap in and see what will happen. But if you love them, the hardest part is already over. Choosing to continue to love them just takes a little consistency and patience.

Don’t punk out!  Once you have chosen to love. Love fully and with all you have or leave them the hell alone! Your unwillingness to forgive shows you are selfish and you may need to spend a little more time loving yourself.  A person that loves themselves loves others from abundance and forgiveness is a habit. They understand love is the ultimate reward.

Love yourself with such intent others feel compelled to love you in return.

the book pic A’Esha Goins’ newest projects include radio show, a community blog talk radio station. She is the author of “Singles University – Official Rules to Being Single” and soon to be released book, “I am a Relationship Advocate.”

Visit her at,

#1 Dating Guru

Follow her on Twitter @1datingguru

Click on her book to purchase a copy.

0.00 avg. rating (0% score) - 0 votes

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join the Informer mailing list

Check your email and confirm the subscription