Dating Guru: A lesson about love, Part 1

aeshaBy A’Esha Goins, Dating Guru

Informer Media Group

This is the story of a young lady named Mary Jane. Mary Jane comes from a hard past. Her mother was a teenage mother that lost her own mother at an early age. Mary Jane and her mother pretty much grew up together, which meant she was inexperienced in life. Mary’s mother met her stepfather when she was 3 years old and the two were married by her fourth birthday.

Her mother and step father fought a lot but seemed to love each other enough to have four more children. Mary Jane, the oldest of five children, learned quickly that she had to be a leader and a tough one at that. Her stepfather was abusive physically and mentally and his behavior caused Mary Jane to become hard and defensive. She enjoyed fighting and wouldn’t allow anyone to say anything to her she didn’t like.

Although Mary Jane was a fighter it didn’t take away from her beauty. She grew to be 5 feet 8 inches with a curvy athlete’s body.  Mary Jane has long legs, full breast and stomach, firm thighs and calves, caramel colored complication with almond colored eyes. Indeed her looks would make you look twice. She also has the most intoxicating smile you have ever encountered. People notice her smile before they notice anything else about her but once people notice all of her they are always pleased.

Mary Jane also has a wonderful spirit. Her character can be described as fun loving and easy going which meant she never had a problem meeting men.  Her marital status is single; however it is because she enjoys variety not because she doesn’t have choices. Mary Jane dates often and as many men as she feels necessary. Falling in love has never been an issue; her childhood produced a hard heart in her. It wasn’t that Mary Jane didn’t believe in love. She liked to believe she hadn’t met a man that mattered enough for her to love.

Then she met Yayo. Yayo is a local DJ known for his addictive personality. He can spin records that keeps the floor hype and makes you sweat out your clothes. He is a six foot 5 inch Latin/Black mixed man with an urban swag. He is what women described as delicious. He carries his football build like he was born with it. A big guy by size still graceful on the dance floor. When women find out he is DJ’ing, they change their plans to be in the room with him. Yayo is a local celebrity.

Yayo first met Mary Jane at a party he was Dj’ing. He watched her walk in the room and like many others; he was captivated by her smile. He waited until someone formally introduced them to each other. Once introduced, Yayo seized the opportunity to hug her. While in his embrace he sweetly whispered into her ear, “You will be mine.” Mary Jane, being a woman of influence, felt he must have mistaken her for a groupie and was appalled at his boldness.  Mary Jane, not to be out done in an introduction, whispered back to him with suave confidence, “I doubt it!”

The rest of the night Yayo made it his point to call her name out over the microphone as often as he could, mentioning her in reference to particular songs and her dance moves to the songs.  He knew he was risking his own reputation but he had never met a woman as aggressive and as suave as Mary Jane and was determined to see what else she had to offer.

Mary Jane, always the confident woman, didn’t allow all the attention the DJ was offering her to affect her night.  She danced and enjoyed her atmosphere without giving him a second thought. She knows her value and knows he will have to really put forth a pursuit if he wanted her truest attention.

Finally Mary Jane was finished with her night and began to gather her things up to leave for the night. Yayo noticed her giving a few people goodbyes and decided if he didn’t move quickly he was going to miss his opportunity to close the deal.

He called for his assistant to take the turntables and he swiftly moved towards Mary Jane. Once he reached her he realized just how sexy she is and really wanted her. Even after hours on the dance floor her hair was barely out of place and her fragrance had taken on a musky smell that made him want to take her home right then and there. He knew she was not a common woman and he needed to collect himself before he actually spoke to her. Yayo understood he had very few words available to close this deal.

Mary Jane watched Yayo approach her with her peripheral vision. The eagerness in his eyes was all too familiar to Mary Jane and she knew he was only after one thing.  Mary Jane sometimes enjoys an easy romp in the bed every now and then. However she had not decided if his earlier boldness should be forgiven so soon. She was going to make this DJ give her his FULL COURT press. Also, Mary Jane hadn’t decided if he was or wasn’t worth her time. What she did know is she wasn’t going to go easy.

Yayo knew he had to make an impact and not an impression. He decided to throw caution to the wind and go for what he knew. He turned Mary Jane towards him and planted a kiss on her lips.

Stay tuned for the Mary Jane and YAYO saga, part 2.

the book picA’Esha Goins is a columnist, life/relationship coach, author and talk radio host. She is debuting her new radio show, The No Good Men Show, on KLAV 1230 AM. Goins is the author of “Official Rules to Being Single” and will soon release her second book, “I am a Relationship Advocate.” Goins is raising an adopted son and is an advocate for foster care. She also created Singles University, a social group for singles.

Visit her at,

#1 Dating Guru

Follow her on Twitter @1datingguru

Click on her book to purchase a copy.

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