InSPIRITations: The Art of Forgiveness
By Mitzi Reed
Las Vegas Informer
The past four years has gifted me a long lesson in forgiveness. It’s sometimes easy to forgive when the other person sincerely ask for forgiveness and has promised to never do the offense again. Yet, it’s a little harder when the other person has not asked to be forgiven and keeps doing the same thing to you and others over and over again. When do you draw the line? Or do you keep turning the other cheek?
Sometimes, it’s you that needs to forgive yourself. Perhaps you have hurt someone and are truly sorry. They have forgiven you, but you still feel guilt.
Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its hold on you and help you to move on and forward. Sometimes forgiveness guides you to the feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness helps you to live your life more peacefully. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can also lead to healthier relationships
When you forgive, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt
If you’re unforgiving, you might bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others .Your life might become so consumed in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious.
Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen. It did happen, and we need to remember the lesson learned without holding onto the pain. Forgiveness is not excusing. Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in the future. Forgiveness does not mean we have to reconcile with the person.
Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being. Acknowledge your own inner pain. Express those emotions in non-hurtful ways without yelling or attacking. When you’re ready, intend to consciously choose to forgive the person who’s offended you, knowing that it’s a process. Stop playing the role of victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life You might discover feeling compassion and understanding for the other person. Forgive yourself for your role in the relationship. Decide whether to remain in the relationship. Protect yourself from further victimization.
I choose to forgive this person for what they did even though the person has never shown any remorse. I am not doing it for this person; I am doing it for myself. I no longer want to carry that pain and baggage inside of me. I have a bright future ahead of me and I intend to live it to the fullest extent and not waste any time on the wrong this person did. Has it been easy? Heck, no! It’s been a journey and a very valuable lesson has been learned. Actually, in my case, several lessons were learned.
“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~ Marianne Williamson ~
I invite you this week to intend to go through the process of forgiving the ones who hurt you, and most of all forgive yourself.
Mitzi Reed is the founder of ASPIRE Conferences, llc, ™ and is dedicated to raising the awareness, promoting healthier lifestyles and to empowering people in all aspects of their personal and spiritual development. She is also the founder of SpiritDove, a ministry dedicated to being a messenger of Love, Peace, and Happiness. Mitzi’s passion and purpose is inspiring others to tap into the power and beauty of their soul. Event Coordinator/promoter. Life and Holistic Business Coach, Author and Speaker, Peace and Sacred Activist. Mitzi is a connector, a community organizer, a visionary and passion is empowering others to live their fullest lives. She was voted by the Las Vegas Community as Best Community Resource in the Inspiration Magazine. www.aspiringconferences.com