A Guide to Being a Best Man

Photo by Kats Weil on Unsplash

Sooner or later, one of your best buddies is going to get married, and while you will be elated at being best man, the reality of this important role will soon kick in. You have a lot to do: you have the bachelor party to organize, you are essentially the wedding manager on the day, and of course, you must make the best man’s speech, all of which can make a grown man cry.

The Bachelor Party

Bachelor parties take an enormous amount of organizing, and most best men underestimate the time they need to invest in doing it. You need to ask the groom who he wants to attend, and once you are armed with this guest list you can start thinking about the destination.

Get together with the groomsmen to brainstorm where you should go – the principle deciding factor is of course budget, and you need to mindful of people’s income and what they can afford. Ask the groom what activities he would like to do, whether it’s visiting the Oxnard Strip Club or booking a day deep sea fishing. Once you have a clear idea of what he wants, you can then think of additional things to do. Remember that you don’t have to fill every minute, factor in time to recover from the night before!

The Wedding Day

Before the wedding day, you need to familiarize yourself with the order of the day. That means visiting the venue before the day, know the timings, and understand who is who within the families. Every family has politics within it, and you need to be aware of any possible situations that are best avoided – think of yourself as a diplomat! Your diplomacy skills will also be needed to keep the groomsmen motivated to fulfill their duties.

Your best man speech will be the pinnacle of your day, and more than likely have given you sleepless nights. There is a fine line between humor and offense, and you need to be sensitive to how your speech will be received by all parties. Understand who your audience is so that you can craft a speech that will appeal to the majority. You need to practice, practice and practice your speech so that you are able to share it without reading from a crib sheet too much – aim for between 5 and 10 minutes and leave time for laughter (hopefully not tears).

Here are five more tips to help you with your best man duties:

  1. Set up a Facebook page or WhatsApp group for the bachelor party guest list.
  2. Prepare a checklist of all the hired suits and the sizes required so that you can easily cross-reference that they are all received.
  3. List the cell numbers of the venue, caterers and one of the bridesmaids, so that if any issues arise on the big day, you can deal with them as they occur.
  4. Pace yourself – a sober best man is more successful than a drunk one.
  5. Be proud – being asked to best man is a real privilege, so be proud of yourself for being considered a great friend.

For many, the duty of being best man can be a stressful one. Although you have responsibilities, remember to have fun. After all, this is your friend’s big day and being his best man is a privilege. Don’t let him down, but make sure to enjoy yourself!

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