One Last Reflection

“Each time one gazes into a mirror, should it remind us of who we are?”

Photo by Eberhard Grossgasteiger

By John Dunia

Introspection and getting a better understanding of whom we are, have been the overarching themes for the past few articles including last week’s (click here to read it). Yet there still remains one more important point that is worth taking the last look.

One of the objectives of honest, self-reflection is to shine a light on what we can do to make a change and grow. What it definitely is not is an exercise on how to point the finger at someone else in order to fix our own personal issues.

Unfortunately, many seem to think they have been given the gift of understanding the problems, which others confront. It is perplexing the number of examples in which people want and in many cases, expect, others to change; acting as though they themselves are the designated mirror of self-reflection.

The world is filled with appalling examples of societies in bitter disputes over whose way is right. Community leaders who ought to be more concerned with uniting the public are seemingly doing their best to divide and devastate it.

While there is no objective either to malign or endorse any particular viewpoint, there is 100 percent certainty that name calling, blaming and condemning your opposition will never persuade, coax or motivate them to change their minds.

The antithesis of self-reflection and growth would be pointing the finger at others and demanding that they be the ones who change. But why is it so easy for so many to point the finger at someone else? Precisely because it is so easy to do so.

Finding something wrong with us is not a comfortable feeling by any stretch of the imagination. People don’t wake up in the morning and ask, “What horrible behavior will I discover about myself today?” Finding flaws and blemishes within us creates all kinds of unpleasant emotions and typically is not something we schedule into our calendar.

However, I believe that honest and sincere introspection has the ability to generate incredible change around the entire world. When we get a better understanding of who we are, the ego loses its stronghold over us. It builds a confidence that is mightier than the unduly influences of those with whom we disagree. This strength allows us to be more tolerant and accepting of diverse and differing views.

Perhaps this is a bit inflammatory but what if everyone around the planet would begin an honest and sincere approach to self-reflection, it could be a sincere first step toward global peace. A tranquil person is much more likely to be the same as others.

By no means is this an easily achievable task but at least all who attempt it will not be disappointed with the greater understanding they gained about themselves. That will certainly accomplish more than pointing a finger at the rest of the world.

Thanks to Eberhard Grossgasteiger on Unsplash for the beautiful and fitting picture. I look forward to your comments.

Since 2007, John Dunia has written for many local Las Vegas publications. In 2013, he began blogging and sharing his thoughts on overcoming adversities with his unique approach in assisting the reader towards better self-awareness. In 2015 he completed his first self-help-style book, “Shame On Me – Healing a Life of Shame-Based Thinking” which was a semi-autobiographical account of how he overcame and heal difficulties from his past. It inspired him to branch out in other directions. He now consults with people one-on-one to help them find their own breakthroughs. He also is a guest speaker on the topic of shame and effective ways to heal. To find out more, visit

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