Motive Behind the Motivation

“Success doesn’t always justify the reason we succeed.”

By John Dunia

Our day-to-day tasks can range from rigorous to monotonous and sometimes a bit of incentive may be the antidote to getting us going. Entrepreneurs and go-getters are often commended and sometimes envied for their ability to self-inspire and not depend on or require the enthusiasm of others. No doubt many of us wish we had much more of this quality than we currently do.

The business of motivation is mindboggling. During 2016 in the U.S. alone, the Personal Development Industry reached nearly $10 billion dollars! Although it may have benefited many, that statistic alone is enough to question what the motivation behind all this motivation really is. However, criticizing these motivators doesn’t allow us to discover what may potentially be self-destructive motives of our own.

I am not simply talking about seeking revenge or reciprocating malicious behaviors. Many people under the guise of doing good deeds may use this reasoning to distract them from facing difficult issues in their own lives.

For example, a couple may be facing difficulties in their relationship and rather than facing those issues, one of them decides to be a volunteer coach for a youth sports team. Even though this experience can positively impact dozens of children’s lives, the personal issues for the couple not only remain unresolved but continue to fester and grow. The well-intended act became an excuse not to confront or deal with the looming crisis directly ahead.

Had one of them used alcohol or drugs as a distraction, this undoubtedly would have spiraled into a much worse outcome. However, neither scenario resolves the issues of the once-loving duo.

By no means do I want to imply that any time a person wants alone time from a relationship that it is a sign of troubles, it is simply another opportunity for self-reflection and being honest with our true motivations.

If there is anyone guilty of distracting himself from relationship issues, I’ll be the first one to raise my hand. Not only was I keeping myself occupied, I didn’t want to even consider the notion that there was trouble in my marriage. However, by the time those matters came into view, it was long past the point of no return.

This is true not just for relationships but in many aspects of our lives. Several of us have engulfed ourselves into work hoping that some kind of promotion or monetary gain would help “fix” the problem. Perhaps there is a health or other personal issue and instead of seriously looking for answers, we respond with sidesplitting humor. Again, that doesn’t dictate that every self-deprecating joke is an alarm going off, it’s another occasion for true self-reflection.

There are occasions when we need someone to push us to that next level and inspire us to conquer more than we could ever imagine. Reaching these goals builds confidence and self-esteem which is always a good thing. But by constantly examining ourselves and becoming aware of why we do what we do, this helps us in our own personal growth and development; something which no amount of money will ever purchase.

The photograph is of Red Rock Canyon. A “must see” if you have a chance to visit Las Vegas. Thank you and I look forward to your comments.
Since 2007, John Dunia has written for many local Las Vegas publications. In 2013, he began blogging and sharing his thoughts on overcoming adversities with his unique approach in assisting the reader towards better self-awareness. In 2015 he completed his first self-help-style book, “Shame On Me – Healing a Life of Shame-Based Thinking” which was a semi-autobiographical account of how he overcame and heal difficulties from his past. It inspired him to branch out in other directions. He now consults with people one-on-one to help them find their own breakthroughs. He also is a guest speaker on the topic of shame and effective ways to heal. To find out more, visit www.gcegroup.net.

 

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